EEEEKK!!!

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom!!

REALLY MOVING…

Ever read a classic novel that really moves you? I feel that way about cheesecake.

SPHERE?

If the Earth is flat, then my belly is too.

HERE’S TO THINKING AHEAD!

I’m never more optimistic than when I put fast food restaurant sauce packets in the fridge and think I’m going to use them at some point.

COUNT FIRST!!

You have no idea how many windows you have until someone is working on your gutters.

BLESS YOU.

I answered a telephone call yesterday but the person at the other end just kept on sneezing. I just hate cold callers.

WHAT BAD STUFF DO YOU TEACH YOUR CHILD

The top “bad stuff” that parents admit to: allowing children to have too much screen time (65%,) accidentally teaching children swear words (42%), and letting children watch something that wasn’t age appropriate (39%.)

SOME ADVICE FOR YOU>>>

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left over by those who got there first.

HELLO?!?!

We can talk to astronauts in space perfectly fine, but we lose cell phone reception EVERYWHERE!

WINNING!!

I really like that machine at the gym where you put money into it and snacks come out.