froggyposts

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CRAPPY JOB!

My friend works at a rubber dog poop factory. He’ll never get rich, but he makes doo.

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LOVE MY PETS!

My gold fish gets so happy when I take him out of the tank, he starts jumping.

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YEP, THAT”S HOW IT HAPPENED.

Interviewer: “We want to hire responsible people.” Me:”Great! When things go wrong people always say say I’m “responsible”.

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WORK SMART.

I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.

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WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

If your house doesn’t have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.

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DR’s ORDERS!

‪I have removed all the unhealthy food from my house. It was delicious.

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NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently security doesn’t appreciate it when you call “shotgun” before boarding a plane.

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HERB WHO?

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.