Sometimes, the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the street the stuff is placed.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died. The service will be held at 350 for about 20 minutes.
I was thirty five years old before I realized that a hamlet wasn’t an omelette with ham.
Drinking water through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.
The amount of people who confuse “to” and “too” is amazing two me.
Now it’s to hot out to take the Christmas decorations down.
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind someone on a stationary bike and pretend you’re angrily chasing them.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with “According to the prophecy”.