Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom!!
Ever read a classic novel that really moves you? I feel that way about cheesecake.
If the Earth is flat, then my belly is too.
I’m never more optimistic than when I put fast food restaurant sauce packets in the fridge and think I’m going to use them at some point.
You have no idea how many windows you have until someone is working on your gutters.
I answered a telephone call yesterday but the person at the other end just kept on sneezing. I just hate cold callers.
The top “bad stuff” that parents admit to: allowing children to have too much screen time (65%,) accidentally teaching children swear words (42%), and letting children watch something that wasn’t age appropriate (39%.)
The things that come to those who wait will be the things left over by those who got there first.
We can talk to astronauts in space perfectly fine, but we lose cell phone reception EVERYWHERE!
I really like that machine at the gym where you put money into it and snacks come out.