GLAD TO HELP!

My therapist thanked me for making her decision to retire early much easier. So I’ve got that going for me.

LESSONS LEARNED.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment…

96 YEAR OLD ROCKS!

96 year-old Sarah Lyons, of McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania, bowled a perfect game. She scored a 300 while bowling with friends and family members. Sarah also belongs to two card clubs, jogs and works with Meals on Wheels.

DIET????

Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.

DO IT … EVERYDAY

Kids do this 400 times a day, while adults only do it only 20 times daily. What is it? (Smile)

DOC’S ORDERS

My doctor says I need to cut back on my gluten. Over my bread body!

WHY?

Some people can’t go to sleep if any phone apps need to be updated, but will drive their car with the check engine light until it explodes.

But of course!

Bed is most comfortable when you’re not supposed to be there.  

Purely medicinal.

Whenever I have a panic attack I put a paper bag over my mouth & once I’m done drinking the alcohol inside I feel a lot better.

PLEASE DON’T SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Singing spreads a lot of aerosol particles and droplets into the surrounding air. And the letters B and P stand out as the biggest aerosol spreaders. So yeah … say it but don’t spray it!