Out of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with, how did two sticks win?
When it comes to decorating for the holidays… I put the “pro” in procrastinate!
If I had a Delorean, I would probably only drive it from time to time.
An elderly man is stopped by the police at 2 a.m and they ask where he is going. He says, “To a lecture about alcohol abuse and staying out late.” The officer asks, “Who is giving that lecture at this hour?” The man replies, That would be my wife.”
Last month we labatomized some pumpkins. Y’all ready to shove some bread up a turkeys butt?
According to this height / weight chart, I’m too short.
One of these days I’m going to get help for my procrastination problem
Pretty sure I heard those whispered words coming from Mother Nature today…
myself. Sometimes I get ahead of
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.