YEAH, TAKE THAT!
I eat those silica gel packets because consumer electronics are not the boss of me.
IT’S ALL IN THE PRESENTATION.
“I ran a half marathon” sounds so much better than “I quit halfway through a marathon”.
EEK!!
Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
WISHFUL THINKING
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
HAPPY FRIDAY 13, 2020!!
Hey, Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever!
BEEN THERE, DID THAT!
That silly moment when your gas tank is on ‘E’ and you turn the music off like it’s going to save gas.
NEW PICKUP LINE:
Hey, why don’t you come back to my place, I have toilet paper.
QUESTION FOR YA……
What’s brown and not very heavy? Light brown.
THIS IS JUST FUNNY!
Have you ever noticed the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
JUST BEHAVE.
If you’re over 18 but under 21 and are arrested for drinking alcohol, you can be charged as an adult for being under aged.