WELL, WAS IT?

Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch “Was it all fun and games up to that point?”

STATUS UPDATE: IN A RELATIONSHIP

With my air conditioner!

TRU DAT!

The song “Take me out to the Ballgame” is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.

JUST SO YOU KNOW.

You are NOT beautiful on the inside. I’ve seen anatomy text books. Gross stuff.

DOES APPEARANCE MATTER?

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes…

REMEMBER WHEN???

Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends’ houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.

WANNA HAVE SOME FUN?!

Turn off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.

WORDS OF WISDOM

Happiness comes from within. That’s why it always feels so good to release gas.

WELL, NOT ALWAYS.

Whatever you do, always give 100%… unless you’re donating blood.

FRUITY…

Apple is now valued at 1 trillion dollars which is the same as the GDP of Florida, but that’s comparing Apple’s to oranges.